I was saddened to see that during the time I was away in South Carolina, one of my favorite acting industry professionals, who was also a friend of mine, passed away. Bob Fraser was well-known in the acting industry here in the Los Angeles area as well as around the country (and world).
Bob Fraser was an actor and was a writer for a number of television shows. He also did a little producing, directing, and other stuff. You can check out what he did – in IMDB.
As the writer of the column, The Showbiz Brain, in the free publication put out by Now Casting called Actors Ink, he shared information that I have always found extremely enlightening. He also shared information through his email newsletters and in his many books, classes, workshops, and I’m sure in many other places.
I’ve been reading his materials for many years, but just in the last year have gotten to know him as I started selling some of his acting industry products here on my blog. I enjoyed reading/watching all his materials.
I also really enjoyed my email communications with him. He was always amazingly pleasant, even after he was diagnosed with melanoma in March (I think it was). I communicated regularly with him about how he was doing, but he was always so upbeat, that I had no idea how sick he was. It is amazing how close you can actually get to someone without actually ever meeting that person face to face.
I hadn’t heard from Bob in a few weeks, but since I was getting ready for a trip, I hadn’t really had time to notice. So it came as quite a shock when I saw last night that he had passed away on July 12th. I am glad that I communicated to him how much I really loved all his products, but I wish I’d realized how sick he was so I could’ve offered more sympathy and tried to help.
I was really sad last night and have not been able to stop thinking about him. I went back and read through some of the emails I had with him over the last few months.
How do you pay your respects to an acting industry professional and friend?
It is difficult to deal with the loss of someone you care about, even if it is someone you only know through business or only know through the internet. You get to know so many people on a much more personal level without even ever meeting them in person.
You can see pictures of them and hear stories about their experiences, read things they have written, watch them on videos, etc. And in doing those things, you really gain an unexpected level of closeness to them.
It seems as though there should be some way to pay your respects, even if you can’t express them to the family members. For now, I just want to pass on to others what a special person Bob Fraser was. And I want others to have the chance to read the materials he published because they really have great value.
What happens to everything he was doing at the time? Will his heirs still sell his materials online as he was doing? I can’t answer these questions. In fact, I don’t think I can continue selling his publications right now since I don’t think anyone will be tending to them on the other end. Hopefully, I’ll be able to offer them for sale again soon because they are very special products that offer an interesting perspective on acting.
For now, I’d like to say to all of you reading here:
Just remember how precious life is, and how quickly someone can be taken away from us. Make sure you take time to tell those you care about how special they really are to you.
And Bob Fraser, you will be missed…
In remembrance of Bob Fraser,
Debbie Sikkema
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Lilly@ Dentist West Los Angeles
July 26, 2011 at 9:29 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
This is a very touching blog. Thank you for sharing.
Taras Sakharevytch@plumber mississauga
July 29, 2011 at 8:36 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Hi Debbie. This is touching for sure. We can be respectful by thinking about the gone with a smile on our face. You are lucky to be in touch with him, I lost my favorite teacher two weeks back and was unaware till yesterday. I was thinking of calling him for a very long time, but wanted to get myself a better job and then tell him with pride that his student is doing well in life. I regret not making the call that day!
Julius from SamsungLaptops
August 1, 2011 at 2:56 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Wow!this is truly good topic that serves as reminder for us to look back give our gratitude and extend our happiness 🙂 to those people who helped a lot upon achieving our goal, become successful persons and make what or who we are right now.
Maria from Madrid
August 9, 2011 at 5:28 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I´m so sorry to hear the news about Bob… He was one of my rocks in my acting career. He always had the time to answer my questions and give me good advice. Does not let my to become lazy or a complainer… I really liked this man. Let´s don´t forget all he had to teach us.
Wherever you are I send you all my love and gratitude.
Steven@affordable urgent care
August 16, 2011 at 10:41 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
This reminds me of having lost a great teacher and friend. It is difficult to express gratitude and respect, but I tried by respecting his teachings and trying to follow those ethics in m life.
Murat@ipad 2 covers
August 26, 2011 at 4:51 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
This is very sad. He was a nice man. 😥
John@ski resort japan
September 2, 2011 at 12:20 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I am going through the same phase. I lost my sister two years back, she nurtured me when I was small, used to call me to her place whenever I had my vacations, used to take me to different places… Now I miss her the most, as she was my only elder sister. I actually wanted her to be there dancing on my wedding, teasing me as I did when she was getting married. Anyways it is rightly said that, a thing lost is valued the most. I agree with Debbie that be it any relation, make sure that you tell them how special they are to you…
Jack@cosplay costumes
September 19, 2011 at 6:32 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Yes, you have to value the ones who are there around you because you never know when they may be gone for good. It may also happen that you may be one of them so you need to create a good image in everyone’s mind so that if God forbidden anything happens to you then you will be remembered for all the good you did to others.
Jackson@roid rage
September 21, 2011 at 9:13 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
It’s Ok relax! You will have to move ahead in life. If you keep thinking about the situation every time you will never be able to accept new things in life. He is no more now. So you cannot do anything about it now. Regretting for whatever happened will not be the ultimate solution for it. Your uncle will be more happy to see you moving ahead in life. Relax.
Richard@decorative wrought iron
September 22, 2011 at 2:46 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
At times even after knowing that a person will not live for long, we still do not have the option of staying with him or even spending time for that matter. This busy world does not let us invest even one single minute of our time to our personal life. We are so busy with our work life that we do not have time for our loved ones even.
Patrick@Noosa Hotel
September 28, 2011 at 12:15 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
For the first time when I read the title of this article I wondered what exactly must be the story in it. But reading further cleared my doubts and trust me I am feeling so good after reading it. The moment I finished the article is told myself “”Happy Realization””. It’s important to value everyone whom you know. Ignoring people would make you regret later if they are gone. So respect and spend time with everyone.
Carol Hong@cosmetic surgeons in toronto
September 28, 2011 at 11:50 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
The life span of every individual is different. It completely depends on God, when he wants us to come back to him? It might be even us who might be called back to heaven before our parents or elders. So live each moment happily and ensure that you spend your time with everyone you know ensuring that no one has any hard feelings for you. Be good to everybody.
Domenic De Giorgio@metal valley flashing
September 29, 2011 at 1:08 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Yes it’s true that nobody on this earth knows when would be the last day of their life. That’s why it’s important to live each and every moment of our life to the fullest. Not only being happy alone but also sharing our happiness and even making others happy would be a quality that you would be remembered for when you will no more be alive.
Fiona Samuels@training courses
September 29, 2011 at 10:42 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Now that the person has already passed away it would not be good if you be upset for whatever happened. It’s ok! It is understood that due to lack of time you were unable to give attention to him. But you should be happy for at least you tried getting in touch with him by giving him feedbacks for his products.
Katya@sliding gates
September 30, 2011 at 7:47 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
May it be an actor or a common man, nobody on this earth is such that who knows when all of us will die. It’s only the almighty God who decides when to call his people back to heaven. You and I are not different from others so all of us need to be good to each other for you may never know when we might have to part our ways.
Steve@used firearm sales,
October 2, 2011 at 9:11 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Paying respect in this blog means that you need to have some time to spend with your closed friends and family. Always be in touch with all of them no matter even if they are of no help to you. Being selfish is not a good deal. You never know when and who all may be gone for good. So be happy yourself and ensure that even the others are happy when you are around.
John@urgent care,
October 2, 2011 at 9:34 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I think the only solution for you would be to get ready and start something new in life because it’s only then that you will be able to avoid remembering him and you would be able to divert your mind and move ahead in life. Every person goes through a phase where he or she would be emotionally attached to somebody. That does not mean that you don’t move further. Be strong!
Marc Derikx@Toronto Used Cars
October 9, 2011 at 9:02 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I believe that paying respect to everyone equally is important. You just need to be a neutral person who is good and respectful to everyone. The way you respect your parents you also need to respect your elders for the same for you never know whether you will be able to talk to them tomorrow or no. Nothing will remain as it is as this is life and you need to keep facing everything and move ahead in life
Debbie Sikkema
October 12, 2011 at 6:07 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Hi Marc,
Thanks for reading and commenting! I agree we should certainly have respect for our elders and actually for everyone no matter who they are.
Warm regards,
Debbie
Debbie Sikkema
October 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Thank you to everyone for reading on my blog and for all your kind and introspective posts.
Warm regards,
Debbie
Oliver@boutique home builders
October 19, 2011 at 9:56 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Time and Money waits for no man. Similarly, not only time and money but also human beings have no fixed span of life. Everything depends on the almighty God whether when does he wants us to come back to him. So till the time we are here on this earth, I think we should respect and have time for each other for you may never know whether you or your closed ones may be there with you tommorow or no.
Bianca@Cell phone antenna booster
October 27, 2011 at 8:55 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
You have to check yourself as to where you need to focus the most. You cannot just avoid things as this will ruin your life later. You cannot live alone. You need people around you to help you in your tough times and share all your feelings the days when you are happy. The same goes with you as well. You also need to be a support to others in their times.
David@gps tracking device
October 27, 2011 at 10:24 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Old is Gold. Never let any of your family members, friends, colleagues and relatives not be in touch with you. Life is very short and also you may never know when your closed ones may not be alive on this earth. So always be in touch with everyone. I am the one who always initiates and keep socializing with people and I don’t mind doing that because you always create a good impression in people’s mind and then they would always remember you.
Renny@free social networking,
October 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Yes these kind of situations will arrive when you will not have time for your friends your family and relatives and even for yourself. This generally happens when you are a fresher and you start focusing on your career. You may not realize it that time since you will be in a situation where you will not be able to focus on anything else except your career. But later yes you will surely realize it.
Dixia Shi@sexy dresses
October 28, 2011 at 9:17 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
When I read the headline of this blog I was a little confused about what exactly does it indicate. But the inside story has some other message to convey. And I absolutely agree to whatever is mentioned above. I agree that time and money waits for no man but even your relatives, friends and family members will not be able to stay in this world for long. Not even you. So stay connected to everyone
Jordan Xiong@wholesale shoes
November 2, 2011 at 8:52 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
If we consider only the industry professionals, I agree that they are too busy with their work and that they are that’s why unable to give time to their family or for that matter even finding it difficult to remove time for themselves. We need to get out of this bad habit and ensure that we are happy and also keep the others around us even happy so that we are remembered by everyone if anything happens to us.
Richard@iron works texas
November 6, 2011 at 8:24 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I am still in touch with all of my school and college friends. I like to maintain good relations with all my friends. In fact I still keep meeting them whenever I get some time apart from my office. All we do is keep remembering our good old days and keep laughing on the mischeavous acts that we did during our school days.
George@Vinyl Siding Network
November 6, 2011 at 8:49 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Respecting your elders is what is rarely seen. We as children forget that our elders are the ones who have helped us reach this level at what we are currently standing. How can we forget the time that they have spent for us teaching us new things in life? Now it’s our time people. We need to give some of our time to them as well as all the other people close to us. Let’s not ignore anyone no matter even if we stay a little busy.
Doug Perry@Online Credit Card Processing
November 18, 2011 at 5:35 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
No matter how busy you are in your professional life you should still make it a point that you spend some time with your loved ones. Time and money waits for no man. Money once lost can be earned back but relationship once lost or broken will never be able to have the same kind of bonding as it had before. So you should always ensure that you have your loved ones always around you.
David@Amazon cruises
November 21, 2011 at 10:48 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
These days children have become too advanced. They just do not like to spend time with their elders no matter even if they are their parents. Parents have always been our support and a helping hand in our childhood days and so now is the time when they need us the most. I understand that we live in a busy world but finding out time for our elders is also important.
Amy
November 28, 2011 at 1:03 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
You have made me realize how important your relationship towards your teachers, coach, boss or whoever that somehow molds you to become what you are now. You have a very touching post, it makes me miss them. Thanks for reminding me the things that I no longer remembered.
Theo Magen@flowers nyc
December 4, 2011 at 10:17 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I think the ones who are quite educated will never commit such mistakes in life. You are smart enough to understand how important it is to spend some time with your elders. In return of giving your time to your elders you will only get lots of love and blessings from them. So I think it is not at all bad to spend some time with your elders.
Dennis@latin america investment in latin america
December 7, 2011 at 4:59 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Yes it is important to have your focus on career because if you do not focus on career you will never be able to accomplish your goals in life. Failure is something that nobody wishes to have in life. But at the same time we need to understand what is important and what is not. Balancing our personal as well as our professional life is important.
Harry@Swimming pool service companies in Litchfield county ct
December 12, 2011 at 5:35 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Expressing your love and feelings for others will hardly cost you anything. All you need to do is to give some time to your elders so that even they feel that they have someone to care of themselves and someone who feels that you are important in their life. Everybody likes to be pampered and cared and so are our elders.
Oliver@cyclone fencing
December 15, 2011 at 5:04 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
In our childhood days our parents have thought us how to respect elders, be good to everyone. In short they have thought us good manners. So now as we have grown up what are we suppose to do now? Are we supposed to follow what we are taught or become rude and selfish? Being adults now we still need to respect everyone. So may they be our elders or the ones younger to us.
Rhio@south africa hunting trips
December 18, 2011 at 9:31 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
You only understand the value of a particular thing when you do not have that thing around you or when you loose it. Relations also are of the same nature. Once a relationship is broken it becomes hard to repair the strings of it. So be it your spouse, your elders, your friends or family members. The more respect and love you give them the more happy you are in life.
Thomas@doctor advice
January 2, 2012 at 5:31 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
You should not be guilty for what happened. Instead think that good you did mail him and gave him a good feedback for the great job that he had done. Always do good to others because you never know what is going to come next into your life. I believe that when you expect things to be on the right track its even you who is responsible for it. It feels great when you do something good to others.
Jeo@wholesale bracelets & bangles
January 4, 2012 at 6:45 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
I don’t think it is that difficult to manage everything. You need to prioritize everything. Respecting your elders would not do any harm to you. You get to learn a lot of things from your elders when you are young. But when we grow old we do not have any respect for them. In some cases we do not even have time to give them. Elders are the base or the root for the tree that we have grown.
James@web hosting
January 4, 2012 at 7:13 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
We are not the only one who is concerned about our career. There are lot of other people who are on this earth trying to take care of their career and also their family. I think those who are unable to handle both the things in life should take care of their life should learn from the others of how to manage things well.
board and batten
March 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Thank you, I have recently been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I have came upon so far. However, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the supply?|What i don’t realize is actually how you are not really a lot more smartly-appreciated than you might be now. You are very intelligent.
Saying Goodbye to Another Acting Industry Professional and Friend | Your Young Actor
October 17, 2011 at 12:37 pm (UTC -8) Link to this comment
[…] was hesitant to post on this topic again when so little time had passed since my post “How Do You Pay Your Respects to an Acting Industry Professional and Friend?,” so I waited a little while. I also knew that I did not want Ruben’s life to have […]