What Makes a Good Stage Parent?

Unfortunately, the name stage parent or stage mom has been given a bad rap. We all picture the crazy mom, forcing a child to do something he or she does not want to do and then yelling at and belittling him or her when the performance is not perfect.

When I use the terms stage parent or stage mom, I don’t mean it in a negative way. A stage parent is simply the parent of a child actor.  I will also call these parents showbiz parents, show business parents, or just the parents of a child actor or model.

The fact is, there are good stage parents and there are bad stage parents. I believe there are more good ones than bad ones.  Just as no parent is perfect, no stage parent is perfect either. We all make mistakes, but it is my belief that most parents in the industry try to do their best.

Are stage parents really different from parents who are training their child in a sport, with the hope that the child might compete locally, regionally, nationally, or even in the Olympics?  Are the bad stage parents really different from the parents who yell at the referee or coach when their child is called out or benched, or at their child when he or she misses a catch or strikes out? No, not really.

Many show business parents really just want to give their children the opportunity to do something that they love and want to do. I know that was, and still is, my goal as a stage parent.

With that said, if you are trying to help your child start a career in show business, please be a good stage parent.  Here are some things that will help you to be a good stage parent:

• don’t force your child into show business when he or she is not interested;
• don’t yell at your child or harshly criticize him or her when things don’t go well;
• don’t get into everyone else’s business or everyone else’s kid’s business (snooping, eavesdropping, etc.);
• don’t try to tell agents, managers, casting directors, producers, directors or anyone else in showbiz how to do their jobs;
• don’t argue with or complain to agents, managers, casting directors, or others involved when things don’t go as you had hoped;
• don’t constantly tell your child every little thing to do or answer questions for them when industry professionals are trying to interact with them — let them shine on their own;
• don’t be mean or act snobby to other stage parents/showbiz kids;
• don’t let jealousy get the best of you;
• don’t brag to other stage parents;
• don’t constantly compare your child to other children in the showbiz industry;
• don’t put down successful showbiz kids or their parents;
• do your job well and quietly so the attention is on your child and not you;
• do encourage your child and compliment him or her for good effort;
• do promote good feelings between your child and other children in the entertainment industry;
• do try to keep your child grounded.

The job of stage parent is not an easy one. In several of my next posts, I’ll be giving more details about some of the many tasks you take on when you become a stage parent.