What Should You Do When Acting Auditions Don’t Go Well?

Like a Mouse at Acting Auditions, by Greenfield via Flickr

One of my daughter’s very first theatrical acting auditions in L.A. was actually in the director’s house. This was NOT typical for acting auditions. But this was an independent project for a children’s educational video.

The Best-Laid Plans …  (for acting auditions)

The day before the acting audition, I used mapquest to get directions, drove there to make sure I could find it, and got everything ready for the audition. I went over a few directions with my daughter, reminding her to just do her best and to have fun. There were no sides (lines), so there was not much preparation to do. She already had songs ready to sing.

We got up, got ready, and left quite early so we’d arrive on time (like all the books I’d read suggested).

We got there 45 minutes early since there was almost no traffic at 8:45 am on Saturday.  I drove around the block a few times, and then we waited in the car for a little while before we went to the door.

We were still about 25 minutes early, but I thought it would be okay to go on to the door since other kids were probably there auditioning.

Of Mice and Men .. (meet my daughter and the director) Often Go Awry (– Robert Burns)

I rang the bell, and after a little while we were greeted by a rather disheveled man. He seemed flustered and looked like he had just gotten out of bed.

I was embarrassed for obviously arriving too early, and he seemed embarrassed as well. I apologized for being so early and asked if we should come back in a few minutes.

But he invited us into his living room and talked to the two of us together. This was not what we expected, but I’m sure it was due to the acting audition being in his home.

My daughter acted like a little mouse, looking at me for encouragement after each question he asked and talking barely above a whisper. When he asked her what she wanted to sing, she just looked at me.  This behavior was so NOT typical for my daughter who always enjoyed talking and performing for adults.

I knew she was not accustomed to having me in the room during auditions, so I asked if I could sit out on the porch where I could still see and hear her.  She did speak up after I left the room, but at that point, I knew it was a little too late. Needless to say, she did not get that part.

This  just goes to show that with kids and auditions, no matter how prepared you try to be, you never really know what to expect. You also never know how your child will react in a particular situation, and you have absolutely no control over it.

To Make Matters Worse

When we left, I asked my daughter about why she had behaved that way. I’m sure all my questioning only upset her. I was upset about arriving too early and confused about why she had not been her typical self.  I was also worried about what her talent agent and talent manager would say.

Looking back on that audition and many other acting auditions that my daughter had, I realized that my behavior was not only not helping my daughter, but it was hurting her. I thought by questioning her and trying to figure out everything that she did wrong, I could help fix it for next time.

So, what should you do when your child’s acting auditions don’t go well?

When any kind of audition does not go as planned, it is natural for you to think about all the things you could have or should have done differently that might have affected the outcome of the audition.

You may be inclined to question and criticize your child. You may even feel a little depressed about it yourself.

But the fact is, this kind of behavior is bad for you and bad for your child.

All you are likely to do is lower your child’s self esteem, raise your child’s anxiety level, and perhaps hurt your relationship with your child. And this sort of behavior will, at the very least, cause your child to quit communicating honestly with you after auditions.

Relax and Get Over It

When an acting audition is over, as hard as it may be, it is best to just forget about it. It is over, and you certainly can’t change it now.  Worrying about it or criticizing your child will definitely not fix it.

You have to remember that no matter how well you plan, sometimes “stuff” just happens.

And what you want to do, especially if your child is feeling unhappy about the audition, is to try to turn it into a positive experience instead of dwelling on the negative.

Some things you can do to turn it into a positive experience are:

1. Remind your child that just getting into the audition at all was a big accomplishment (and it really is!).
2. Praise your child for doing his/her best and for putting forth the effort.
3. Encourage your child to tell you the things that they thought went right during the audition.
4. Just listen to what your child has to say about the audition and be sympathetic and reassuring (no grilling or criticizing).
   
5. Ask your child what he or she thinks could be done better next time.
6. Encourage your child to move on and start looking forward and preparing for the next audition. (This may be extremely difficult to do, especially if the auditions are few and far between.)

For more tips on children and acting, be sure to sign up for Your Young Actor’s Newsletter, and you’ll get a free 12-part mini-course on getting started in show business.

To your child’s success,

Debbie Sikkema